Slum Enterprise - Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
The mind and soul are connected. It was required by the company to ensure that they were split. The mind was for business decisions, the soul was used for silly creative projects. The highest soul to mind ratio was 25% soul in the marketing groups. Marketing managers would baseline the employees every month to make sure they did not exceed over 25% soul. It was soon found that marketing cogs really only had about 25% of their soul so they dropped it.
The mind was the only thing the company really needed, the soul would follow behind and be crushed under immense futility. The soul needs to be set aside, it was causing way too many problems for managers all across the department verticals. Something had to be done.
In a collective cry of complaint, not seen since the great recession, a representative of each department gathered and marched to the CEO building.
They all piled into an oversized freight elevator and went up five floors to be met by an extremely good looking receptionist sitting behind mahogany desks guarding the entrance to the CEO’s office behind two massive deep red mahogany doors. The uppers all demanded an immediate meeting and broke the doors down.
The CEO was caught off guard and jumped up from his desk that was in the center of a red velvet curtain room with wood flooring. He adjusted his poster, brushed off his blazer, zip up his pants, and waved away the assistants underneath his desk.
“Why, what a pleasant surprise, good to see you all… I never knew how many people could fit in this room, now I do.” The CEO said in a deep, robust voice. He stood 6 foot 6 and was heavy around the gut but was still in decent shape for his age. Balding but had that respectable balding that was only acceptable because they had wealth. The room was becoming hotter at an exponential rate due to the 34 bodies crammed in. The assistants now in the corner behind the CEO began to unbutton their shirts and unzip their skirts in a suggestive manner.
A few managers began to stare and watch the motions. The CEO continued. “There seems to be a problem, I hope I can find a solution to whatever it is that is so pressing that you need to break down my door.”
One of the ring leaders spoke from the mass of sweating bodies. The CEO was ice cold, no beads of sweat could be seen forming on his face or bald patch.
“The soul”
“The soul?” The CEO said. He didn't know what it meant.
“Yes, the soul,” another member of the party blurted. “IT has been interfering with our outputs. We are taking a beating out there, we can't control the cogs as of late.”
The CEO looked at them in confusion. Then another yelled out.
“The soul needs to be removed from campus grounds, not completely from marketing since they need ideas for new ad campaigns…”
The CEO realized the direness of the situation. Why had he not thought of this complication before. If the managers had a complete loss of control over the trench workers there would be nothing to exploit, nothing to derive meaning from, nothing to back up their job titles. The entire pyramid scheme would collapse and the company would go under.
People bringing souls into work was not something the CEO could allow. It needs to be cut throat at all times with people constantly throwing others under the bus, the process of natural selection, the doggy dog world must continue.
It was the CEO and Execs job to put on a smoke and mirrors show and make the cog worker think they had a chance at progression. Why didn't the VP’s warn him about this, the CEO thought. He stood to the side and turned his back against the crowd. The assistants were fully naked now licking sweat off each other. A few managers began to become dreadfully aroused which only made them more hot.
“I understand, thank you for bringing this to my attention.” The CEO said. He snapped his fingers and the 2 assistants began to push the crowd back through the doors.
The CEO sits back down at his heavily engraved varnished desk, it was passed down from CEO generation to generation. He began to write a memo to be sent immediately to the VP’s:
“Effective as of today, no soul will be allowed on company property, except for the 25% needed for Marketing. This will apply to all global locations. We hope the change will benefit all employees and the company overall.” The CEO snapped his fingers again and one of the assistants came running and snatched the yellow piece of paper and loaded it up a plastic cylinder and launched it in the pneumatic tube.