Slum Enterprise - Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

Back at his driveway, Lee bent over and placed his hand on his knees to catch his breath. He went and sat on his back porch steps. 

“The trees are healthy and strong,” Lee said to them as he stared at their huge branches reaching for the sky. The leaves were still green. Breathing hard, he cranked his neck down and stared at the tar pavement, he had a 1000 yard stare. He didn't blink for 3 minutes, the ground began to morph into geometric patterns and breath in and out. This always happened after a run and didn't blink for extended periods of time. Lee knew as soon as he blinked the visions would immediately disappear.

Lee blinked and went into the house after he cooled down. Penny was wagging her tail and the couch next to Annie. He wanted to tell her everything that he saw back at the Nature Reserve, but he held off.

“How was the run?” Annie said.

“It sucked, but now it's done. Isn't that the point of it all, having it done?” Lee laughed. 

Lee wandered downstairs to his basement shop and undressed. Stark naked he walked over to his bench stool and opened the journal, he grabbed a pen from the pen holder. He started to work on the 2nd revision of the infinity triangles.

The two triangles were still the center pieces. He labeled the upper “External” and the lower “Internal”. The circle around the triangles was the "Psychic Barrier”. Lee entered in a flow state as he added more, he needed to document what he saw, he had to explain what the model meant. 

At the center “vortex” of the meeting triangles he drew a rough sketch of a black hole. He filled the center in with black marker and drew swirling light waves around it.  There is still a lot of empty space in the “Physic barrier,” He remembers the orbiting settlers back at the Reserve. Lee drew dotted orbital lines starting from small radiuses to three more even spaced ones out the barrier line. He drew  vessels on the lines that looked like oval shiny mirrors like UFO’s you see on secret government files T.V shows. 

Near the “External” triangle he drew 4 of the vessels, he did the same with the “Interal” triangle in the empty space between the barrier wall. He called the vessels “modes.” Remembering what Still Tim said, and what he saw, a person could travel along these modes, this would explain how the person would act. 

From the outer to the inner, Lee named the “External” vessels “Survival, Mask, Home, and Truth.” He named the "Internal" vessels "Introspective, Meditative, Dreamer, Death,” from the black hole singularity to the barrier. Then he labeled the 4 orbital lines N1 to N4. There was an internal and external relationship in the mode levels. 

N1 had the Truth and Introspective vessels. N2 was Home and Meditative, N3 was Mask and Dreamer, N4 Survival and Death. The mode vessels will never meet, they could only stay on their respective sides, Internal or External. How Lee saw it, it was a constant interplay of psychic modes that explained how the soul would act. All the modes, internal and external played a part in how a person would navigate the Life System. 

When Lee sat on the hill top pew and saw brutalist structures forming on the Reserve edge, he finally understood that it was the external data outside his physic barrier from the Life System. This data would filter and hit the vessel modes of whichever Lee was orbiting at the time. If Lee was in survival/death N4 (right near the barrier, right near the corporate structures) he could act fast and understand his surroundings quickly, his primal brain would activate and set the goal to persevere and survive. If Lee was in the inner orbits like N1 (Truth/Introspective) he could take a step back and understand things deeply and find hidden meanings and truths in the data he was receiving.  Any of the data the modes didn't pick up would head towards the internal subconscious levels vaulted away. Lee would only ever see this information in dreams, meditation, and the grand finale of death.

In the diagram, Lee labeled the black hole “Self Singularity." This complex system was how Lee finally understood himself. A strange system of data waves being tossed around and reviewed by different mode vessels within the Physic barrier. The Self Singularity would take it all, prescribe meaning and rail gun data wave frequencies of high amplitude back out beyond the psyche barrier. It's the universe interacting with itself. 

Lee thinks then and there that every conscious creature is a floating orb of the "singularity of the self.” The orbs would wander and run into things the void had to offer. It was a giant game of cosmic pinball. You had no control of where your singularity would go, but the true self had the power to control the reaction, to control what meaning was assigned to the event, whether to care or don't give a damn. 

Lee sat back in his bench stool naked and dropped his pen to the bench top, he had tears swelling in his eyes. His body was hot again from mental effort. He hunched back over to the model he drew and named it “LEE COLLINS PSYCHE SINGULARITY MODEL.”

“The mind is a black hole, a system that can never be truly understood because it's impossible to understand something that doesn't make any sense at all. Logic is out the window, that is why the human race will never quantify a black hole mathematically because they are literally staring at someone's consciousness. It's a freak of nature, freak of the universe. My thoughts and ideas are mini big bangs. Space and time emerged from a tiny dense, hot state known as the singularity. Everything already existed in this little dot, it just didn't know where to go yet, it didn't make the decision. At an unbound time the dot decided to GO, to expand outward into the unknown. It had no reason to expand, but it went anyway, but it needed a system to understand itself, so it created time as the universal constant. The universe was born because it was already here. The idea was born because it already was. Time is what the universe needed to create to have a creature have a chance in understanding itself. The human brain couldn't comprehend anything if time didn't exist. The mind needed to slice it into bite sized chunks to be able to swallow, to layer them out onto a nice backing sheet and cook at a reasonable temp. Only then would the mind process anything. Time happened already, all at once. The internal unconscious can process time faster than the external conscious. This is why dreaming feels like an eternity, from an outside observer it's only a few minutes of “real” time. All ideas have already happened but it's the ones you can decipher from the totality of the whole that shoots out from the inner self singularity that sticks in the outside world. The brain will use the tools it has, it will fire patterns of chemicals and electrical signals through the brain's neuron web, just like how the big bang created space time, this is exactly how the brain will create new ideas. The act of doing will create everything, and the cycle repeats. The human mind is one part of the Macro, Micro principle in understanding the self. ONLY WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND YOURSELF, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE UNIVERSE.”

“Lee what the fuck are you doing, I can hear you talking to yourself like a mad man from upstairs.” Annie was standing at the top of the basement steps yelling down.

Lee looked up from his journal, he heard the creak of the wooden steps as she walked down.

“What's wrong, why are you naked, what are you writing?” Lee slammed the journal shut and placed it in one of his table top tool boxes.

“It's nothing at all, just funny thoughts I had had today, you know how I can get distracted like this.” Lee said with a breeze passing between his legs.

“Get dressed weirdo, come back upstairs… Are you sure you aren't manic right now?” Annie said worryingly.

“No, maybe a little, I don't know, I'll get dressed, my junk is just hanging about, I gotta get the hog back to the pig farm.” Lee ran back up the stairs while Annie laughed.